The last Birthday I went to? We ended up cruising around the Swift Creek Reservoir on a pontoon boat with some people who were also at the restaurant celebrating a birthday. (Note: the birthday girl did not come out on the boat. Maybe she had to go read People Magazine or something.)

Last night’s birthday? My Canadian friend was turning 28. (Hi, my friends are babies.) I suppose, since y’all don’t know any of these people, I need to set the scene. Or, you know, introduce them. I’ll just go with the main players.

Apple: My Canadian friend. The birthday girl.
Josie: Mutual friend of ours. Is launching her own business this week.
Prime Minister of Fun (PMF): Another friend. Fellow Environmental Engineer.
Crazy Drunk Bitch: Needs no explanation.
Flanders: Guy friend of ours. The one whose housewarming party I went to, even though I didn’t know him at the time.

So, we met downtown at Cha Cha’s Cantina for happy hour. Please note that Apple was late to her own party. A few of us including Apple and PMF walked over to Havana 59 for dinner where Josie, Crazy Drunk Bitch (who at this point was Loud but Nonoffensive Tipsy Girl) and a few others met up with us. I sat on the end of the table next to Apple and across from Josie. PMF was 2 seats to the right of Josie; Crazy Drunk Girl was seated diagonally to the right of PMF.

Anyway, mojitos (yum!), food, the waiter attempting to take my soup before I was done (the second time that has happened to me in Richmond. River City = the City of half-eaten soup?) (That waiter also did another thing I hate. I gave him $40 for a bill of $26 and he asked me if I needed change. Answer: Yes. That would be a ridiculous tip. Just bring the change without asking- If I don’t need it, because if for some reason I feel that you deserve a 54% tip (by the way, that would include not taking my food away), I’ll just leave it all on the table, mkay?)

Sorry. Story. We are splitting a dessert when we all suddenly realize that Crazy Drunk Girl is verbally attacking PMF. Then she got in her face, and apparently there was a fork involved (waved threateningly) which I didn’t see. All while calling her a liar. And telling her that all her friends think she’s a liar. And they’ve all told her that she’s a liar. And gesturing threateningly with the salt and pepper shakers.

What is this thing she’s lied about? It seems that PMF was offered the opportunity to take an overseas position (overseas positions are the theme of this week’s posts) and had discussed it with Crazy Drunk Bitch, presumably when she was neither crazy nor drunk, because Crazy Drunk Bitch had just returned from an overseas posting. The lying part came in when she didn’t tell everyone else. So, I think the argument was that it was a lie of omission, but the fact of the matter is that PMF doesn’t have to share everything with everyone. It’s perfectly reasonable to seek out the counsel of someone with applicable life experience and yet not want to confuse yourself with getting everyone’s thoughts on the matter. Point: Not a lie.

Crazy Drunk Bitch would not let it go. A cab was called, she was told to leave, didn’t happen. One of our friends disappeared; it later turned out she couldn’t deal and went home. Josie, in the most awesome moment of the night, says to Crazy Drunk Bitch, “You need to leave. You are not welcome at this table. No one wants you here!” This didn’t work either. We called the waiter over (remember, not the sharpest knife) and asked him to give him her check. He hands hers over and we ask him to get a manager/bouncer. He is busy sorting out all the checks at the table.

WG: Leave them here. We’ll distribute them.
Waiter: continues thumbing through receipts
WG: NOW!
Josie: grabs checks from waiter

I gave her a pen, she signed her receipt and walked out of the restaurant, flipping us off as she did.

Flanders: Who wants a drink? They’re on me!

(We did explain to the waiter why we had gotten short with him. He had apparently missed the whole kerfuffle, though I’m not sure how he managed that.)

I’m supposed to go to a birthday party for a friend tonight, and I’d rather skip it. Now, the reason I’d rather skip it is one of the things upsetting me, and I also know that not going won’t actually solve the problem.

One of the things that happened yesterday was that I got an e-mail inviting me back to Raleigh for a specific event. Now, I happen to love this event, but my overwhelming reaction? I don’t want to go. Why? Because I may run into people that I never want to see again. Mind you, I’ll run into many more people that I do want to see again, but that wasn’t my first reaction. (Sidenote: The person who sent the e-mail told me that they could find me a place to stay- they’ve got some comped hotel rooms. I wanted to respond with, “Dude. I still have friends there. Some of them might even let me crash at their places.”)

Here’s the deep part: this reinforces that I would rather run away than deal with my problems. I am much less stressed out by the idea of starting a new life somewhere (actually, that is exciting!) than by the idea of just letting go or dealing with issues. Which, is probably not healthy. And I have to force myself to deal.

Mostly because, once you’ve run away to New Zealand, where is there to go?

MOVING TO NEW ZEALAND!

NZ is actively seeking out immigrants with technical backgrounds. None of the jobs they had posted aligned with my background. However, I'm still on the e-mail list.

Yesterday I was informed that they are looking for workers for two large wastewater projects in Auckland.

I'm now thinking that moving to New Zealand is an entirely different proposition than moving to Richmond.

Now, it is interesting to note that Governor Palin is a proponent of abstinence-only education in schools and the situation is further proof that that doesn’t work. However, this is a matter for the States and not the Federal Government.

Saturday night I went with my friend Kathy to the Sara Evans concert. This was the second time I seen her (Sara Evans, not Kathy) in the past year. Stace and I went to see her at the NC State Fair. This was at a better venue with better acoustics and there was no tractor pull to be heard. Also, I did not have to return to the Turkey Shoot afterwards.

There was also beer at this concert. Which Kathy ended up buying since some guy gave her a free ticket just as I bought mine. (I think he only had one.)

We also started planning for my birthday. (Yes, I do know it’s in December. Time is running out!) We decided that it should include alcohol and multiple bars.

Sunday I cleaned and then painted my toenails while watching Ice Road Truckers. That’s how I roll, yo.

Also a bad idea? Trying to hit on me while wearing plaid shorts, especially if your opening line has something to do with my low score. I know I’m not a good bowler and I’m OK with that, but I am in no mood to be teased about it at 11:30 at night. On a Wednesday. When I have to work the next day.

Although, it turns out that if you have a really high handicap, you can totally beat the best team in the league.