The sentiment is correct. I do not have the ugly blanket, though.

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Did I tell you how he was feasting on the roses PB gave me for Valentine's Day? The roses are now in my bedroom.

I just spent five minutes chasing a cat around the kitchen, trying to catch him to give him his pill.

The problem? I was chasing the wrong cat. Orion gets the pils, not Jasper.

Which apparently he knew.

When the alarm goes off and I hit the snooze button (something that never used to happen and now always does) I tend to pull the covers over my head. For some reason, Orion does not like this and will paw at them until my face is exposed again.

I recently bought new silky, soft sheets. (Alliteration!) When I pulled them over my head this morning, Orion couldn't get them to move (lack of friction). So instead he bit me on the nose.

I pulled the covers down.

Monkey would like for you to know that there are cats in my house. He would also like the cats to know that they are cats. (The boys: “We know.”) And will you come over here, because he would like to show you the cats.

TRgirl and I took him to the pool on Sunday. He loves swimming, but gets frustrated that we hold him the entire time. We do this to prevent him from drowning, as he cannot yet swim.

Sunday I also went out and bought bowling shoes. For I have joined a bowling league. (It’s just a fun league- I am a completely non-competitive bowler.)

As another part of my quest to meet as many people in the Richmond area as possible, I went sailing on Saturday. I have not been sailing since I moved South. I forgot how much I loved it- I was on a HobieCat for the first time. They totally talked me into joining the club.

A Wikihow entry called "How to Make a Cat Bed from an Old Sweater" was linked to on my google home page today. I present to you another way, which can be accomplished in two steps.

1. Take sweater out of closet/drawer/whatever.
2. Throw sweater on floor.

Note: This works even better if you pretend that you might want to wear the sweater again.

WG: [British co-worker], guess what? Jasper has to wear an Elizabethan collar!*
BCW: Is he wearing a doublet also?
WG: No, it's actually one of those cone-thingys around his head. They just call it an Elizabethan collar.
BCW: I thought maybe he'd been in the dress-up box.
WG: We don't actually have a dress-up box.
BCW: I may have been watching too much Little Bear.** The cat in Little Bear goes in the dress-up box.

*I had to take him to the vet on Wednesday. He'd been chewing on his tail until the point that it was bloody, elciting the following excellent questions:
Aquamama: How did you end up with such high-maintenance cats?
TRgirl: How did he manage that with no teeth?
The vet doesn't know why he did that, and says we may have to amputate his tail. Apparently, Jasper is not so much going to pass away as have body parts removed until nothing remains.

**He has a four-year-old daugter.

So, the Richmond boss called my boss today. They are playing VM tag, but still, it's good news, especially when you consider that I had decided that it had been taken away. (Why, yes, I am a bit melodramatic.)

Also, Orion is once again, in the words of my mother, "More work than a 2 year old."

Do you know where's a great place to spend Christmas night? The ER. Awesome.

The day started out like I had planned it. I woke up, had some coffee, opened my present from Cdub. (External hard drive!) I vacuumed, ran the dishwasher, and put the roof racks back on my car. I had planned to vacuum it, but realized I needed an extension cord. I went and saw Juno, which I thoroughly enjoyed and would recommend.

When I got home, I put the garbage out. Which is when Orion escaped. For the second time today. The first time I caught him easily. The second time> Not so much. He started with the caterwauling and hissing, and I tried to lure him out with canned foods and treats. Did not work. He finally came out from under the boxwoods and headed for the patio. I grabbed him, and he bit me.

Phone call
Mom: Hello?
WG: He bit me again!
Mom: You need to go have it checked out.
WG: I can't until tomorrow. No place is open.
Mom: The ER? That is open.

So, I headed over to the ER. Lot of people there with apparent cooking injuries. Also, some woman with a dislocated shoulder. She was sobbing, and I mean, yeah, that shit hurts (trust me. I know about the shoulder dislocation.), but I wasn't even sobbing like that when I smashed my ankle.

Anyway, I'm sitting in the ER, waiting to be called. A cop walks in. I didn't think much of it, because it's not that unusual. Then, I heard him ask the security guard for me. My first thought? "I didn't see any signs saying I couldn't park there."

He was actually there because the triage nurse called him to report a cat bite. Well, the call he got was for an "animal bite". He called his supervisor to see if he actually had to take a report on a housecat, and I overheard him say, "Even if it just bit the owner?" Orion is now on the books with animal control. He is under quarantine for 10 days. That quarantine will take place at home and at the vet's, where I'd planned on boarding him while away. (This is all in case he has rabies. His rabies vaccination was on Nov. 29.) Although, the paperwork does say if he escapes, I should call the police.

I may. I'm tired of being bitten.

Orion is back to his old self. He even tried to sneak out of the house on Saturday, which means he's back to his old tricks. He's pretty good about taking his pills and I hope it stays that way.

He and Jasper were running around the house fighting at 3 this morning.

Can. Not. Stop. Laughing.

Orion had his EKG today. It confirmed that he does have hypertrophic cardiomyopaty. However, all the valves looked good and his chambers haven't shrunk much. So the prognosis is decent. It can't be cured, but it can be treated (he'll be on drugs for the rest of his life). (The Watergirl household: everyone is medicated!).

They'll check him again in about a year to see the progression.

I spent the weekend thinking I'd have to put Orion down soon. He was miserable. He whined every time I touched him and mostly just sat around. He couldn't even lie down properly, just sat with all four feet curled up underneath him.

I woke up to find him curled up next to me on the bed. He's less whiny this morning, and both his nose and ears are pink for the first time in a long time.

Let's not talk about how guilty I feel for not realizing the lack of pink nose meant something was wrong.

Orion is not breathing hard, but he's still mostly laying around. He hasn't been greeting me at the door, hasn't been joining me in the shower, and is in no hurry to get me out of bed in the morning. Most strangely, I can empty the garbage without fear of an escape. When I touch him, he whines, but he wants to be held.

I'm at a loss.

When I got home tonight, Orion was breathing quite heavily. He was still very lethargic and showed no interest in food. I told all of this to the vet, who listened to his lungs and said that he heard air moving, but he wanted to take a chest X-ray anyway.

The X-rays showed some fluid build up and a "valentine" heart. He thinks it's Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. The prognosis is not good. Dr. Sullivan told me that sudden death was a possibility. (Sidenote: One of the reasons I like my vet is that he doesn't hesitate to give you the truth, even when it's not good. I appreciate that.) We need to do a ultrasound and an EKG to confirm the diagnosis. There's not much they can do besides make him comfortable.

As he told me this, I found myself tearing up. I apologized, but he understood. He's given him medicine to reduce the fluid buildup and to calm him down.

Let's hope my boy doesn't worsen overnight.

Ri did not shower this morning. Nor has he eaten dinner tonight.

Luckily, we have a vet appointment tomorrow.

But I could have.

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Every year, the High School in my town has a band competition. Part of the "Band Day" is a parade through downtown. The bands line up in front of my house. Last year they surprised me and I was almost late for a volunteer thing. This year I was ready and got to watch. The boys watched too. At one point, I took Orion outside to watch, and he growled at the bands as they walked by. Other pictures can be found here.

Last night, I woke up upset about a dream. It wasn't a scary dream, just an emotional one. (E-mail me if you want details. Not putting it on here- was a bit too real.) Jasper jumped up on the bed, laid near my head, and started purring. It did make me feel better.

Now, he did nothing for me when I woke up screaming the night before. (That dream? Was about copperheads. Chasing me.)

Did I tell you that the night before last Orion woke me up by stepping on my hand? The one that was sore and infected because he bit it? I didn't? Well, he did. And then was upset that I woke up yelling.

I went back to the Dr. yesterday, and she wasn't happy with how it looked- it was still quite red and warm. This morning it is not red and not warm.

Although, I must confess I liked the warm. It's nice to have a built in heater, for when your office is cold. Makes it easy to warm up your nose.

Yesterday I was putting the roof rack on my car so that I could go kayaking. It involved several trips in and out of the house. Of course, Orion managed to get out. I was busy and didn't feel like chasing him, so I let him go and kept an eye on him.

I got involved with the roof rack and lost him. I finally found him hiding under a bush, puffed up, hackles raised, caterwauling. See, he always wants to go outside, but if he's out too long he gets scared. I reached in to get him out, and he attacked me. My had was bitten up.

I managed finally to lure him out with some tuna.

One of the puncture wounds bled for 4 hours. I washed them out and treated them with antibiotic cream, but it was not enough it seems. I woke up this morning and my hand was swollen, red, and warm. I went to urgent care and am now on very strong antibiotics. And I have to go back tomorrow.

Turns out that cat bites are nasty.

On Monday I called my vet- Jasper's mouth had gotten very bad over the weekend and he wasn't eating. Now, the shot he needs to go for results in a visit that lasts less than 10 minutes, but since the vet's office is on the other side of town from me, closer to my office, getting him there is an hour-long thing. And I did not have the time this week. So, I asked if I could drop him off in the morning one day that week, which the don't normally allow for such a thing, but they took him on Wednesday.

(Sidenote: When I told Cdub I was dropping him off, she asked, "Will they keep him until you pick him up?" Nope. They will give him a map, though.)

When I dropped him off, the tech said, "Who do you have?" I said, "Jasper," which got the reply of, "I really should have known that."

When I picked him up that afternoon, I was at the front desk paying the bill. A different tech walked out from the back, saw me, and said to the receptionist, "Did you call back yet?" The receptionist said she hadn't, and the tech told her not to bother. This confused the receptionist, until the tech came out with Jasper and said, "I know who she's here for."

Maybe aquamama had a point when she said my cats require more maintenance than her kids.

I’m going to have to start locking the boys out of the room at night. Jasper has developed a habit of waking me up in the mornings. Usually he just cries, but Sunday morning I woke up because he was standing on my back. (Note: Should you ever need to wake me up, that proved surprisingly effective.)

Oh, and if I don’t get up when he wants me too, he lays next to my face, all, “Well, OK, I’ll be right here when you want to play.”

Orion has an issue, known in veterinary parlance as "inappropriate elimination." Right now, the favored target of such elimination is the couch. The new couch. Which I just had cleaned.

I took him to the vet, because in the past this has been a sign of a urinary tract infection. He is fine. I've tried the pheremones- they don't work.

They are suggesting Prozac.

Yesterday I took both boys to the vet- Jasper needed his shot and Orion was having anal glad issues. Or, as the woman with the Great Dane puppy put it, “problems at both ends!” Jasper goes to the vet often enough that he’s pretty good about getting in his carrier. He’s not happy about it, but he doesn’t fight. Orion, on the other hand, fights so hard that you’d think he matches the Great Dane puppy in size. I also bought flea and tick meds, which, well, “DO NOT LIKE!”

But I do not like fleas in the house, so…

I fixed my storm door this weekend. It hasn't latched since I moved into the house. I took the lock apart, cleaned the crud off, and WD-40'd it. Now, I can sit in the living room and have the front door open. The cats can look out the storm door. Today, we were all sitting in the living room- Ri on my lap, Jasper lying on the rug. A backhoe drove down the street. Jasper ran to the window to see it.

TRgirl's baby shower was, well, a baby shower. The cool part was that she and Randy took me to the driving range the night before. I am now in the market for golf clubs.

Oh, TRgirl has painted the baby's room as an ocean. There is sky and waves. Except I thought it was sky and mountains. Which lead to this exchange:

TRgirl: Have you ever heard of blue mountains?
Watergirl: The Blue Ridge Mountains? The Blue Mountains in Jamaica?

We had our highest point total at Pub Quiz tonight, and were still one point out of fourth place. Which we would have tied for if someone had believed me when I told them what a calorie was.

Saturday Cdub and I drove back up to VA to get the boys. We stayed the night at Peg’s, and on Sunday headed over to Bobby and Stephanie’s. Well, first I showed Cathy my grandfather’s house, but she has refused to buy it from us.

When I walked into the house, Orion was sitting under the table. It took him a little while to come out and see me. When I did coax him out, he ran to the back room and lay down on the afghan I had left.

Jasper, on the other hand, was no where to be found. At one point, he sprinted into their room, but was gone just as quickly. I put Orion’s harness on him (Orion: It burns! Burns, I tell you!) and we went to find Jasper.
He was on a shelf in Stephanie’s closet, which is located off of the master bathroom. We shut the bathroom door, trapping him, put his harness on, and left him in there to calm down.

We said our goodbyes and loaded the boys in the car. Ri hid under my seat for the first hour of the trip. He also had his standard riding in the car reaction, which I didn’t notice because my nose was/is stuffed up. Lucky! He came out and spent the rest of the trip between the two front seats. Except for the part where he jumped up on me and covered my face with his belly.

Jasper hung out for a little while, but then crawled under the rear seat. He stayed there for about 2 hours. He came out to join us, but had wiggled out of his harness. He spent the rest of the trip looking out the windows. Well, with the exception of the one time Cdub slammed on the brakes. Then he came up and tapped her, as if to say, “Hey, I’m back here. Be careful!” It seems it’s not the car that bothers him, but the harness.

So, they’re home, I’m home, and it looks like it will stay that way for three whole weeks. I don’t know if I can be at home for three weeks...

Late Saturday morning Cdub and I set out with the boys for Virginia.

This was after a call from my uncle telling me we wouldn’t be able to get up his driveway, as it was covered with ice. He informed me that Peg was panicking, because she had ice in her driveway too, and didn’t want me coming in the front door.

I called her, and she was worried that we couldn’t get up the back driveway (True!), so she wanted us to park in the front, but call her first so that she could open the garage to let us in. She also told us to be careful driving on the ice.

Usually I take back roads up, but I wasn’t sure that they wouldn’t be icy, so I called TRgirl to find out how things were in Richmond.
Phone rings
TRgirl: Hello?
Watergirl: Hi. Question for you. Do you have ice at your house?
TRgirl: Yes. (pause) What kind of a question is that?
Watergirl: Well, Bobby and Stephanie and Peg have ice, and I am trying to figure out if I can take 15 or not.
TRgirl: Oh, I thought you meant ice cubes.

Cdub has a system for traveling with cats- she sets up a litterbox, food, and water in the back of her van. The cats are leashed in. I put Ri’s harness on before she got to the house, but knew I couldn’t put Jasper’s on without help. Which was very true.

We put the boys in their carriers and started off. We stopped for lunch and let them out. Well, we opened Jasper’s door and attached the leash, but he didn’t come out of the carrier.

Orion spent much of the trip in my lap. Jasper eventually decided to explore, which was going well until he fell off of the seat. (We did laugh, for we are mean.) We made a pit stop and switched drivers. Except that when I opened the driver’s side door, I discovered Ri on the seat sans harness. Unfortunately, I only had one had free, so I just kinda started yelling. Cdub said, “Shut the door,” and came and put his harness back on. At this point, Jasper had crawled into the litterbox, where he stayed for the rest of the trip.

When we got to Peg’s, we left the boys in the van while we waited for Bobby and Stephanie. (One of Peg's cats hates other cats.) However, when they got there, we decided to go to dinner, so we brought the boys in and put them in the guest bedroom. Jasper came out of the carrier, walked around and found the food and water (you could see the thought bubbles. "Food. Water. OK.")

We took them to Bobby's, where Ri was happy because he had a window hammock. Jasper was his usual nosy stuff. They were quarantined for the first night, but have been added to the mix. (Bobby and Stephanie have 4 cats and 2 dogs of their own.) There is still hissing and spitting going on, but that will work itself out.

But I won't see my boys until May.

On a road trip with two cats? I called my uncle last night, and they will take the boys. I know that they will be well cared for- Bobby and Stephanie love their animals. They also love my grandfather’s cat and dog, who they took in after he died. The boys will adapt. They can have their own room at first, or forever, whatever suits them.

They will live with 4 other cats and 2 dogs. Orion likes dogs. Jasper, not so much. However, since it’s Jasper’s fault that they can’t stay with Cdub, it’s hard to have sympathy.

He will not run the house there. Princess will not stand for it. In fact, I may give her a list of things to correct.

Am I wrong to mention this to the PM? I mean, since he is under the impression that since I’m single, this traveling is easy for me?

I talked to Cdub this morning. She’s been taking the boys while I’m gone. As a return for the favor, the boys are terrorizing her cat. This morning she informed me that she won’t be able to keep taking them because of the toll it’s having on Chazy.

I cannot afford to board them. Not for the periods of time we are talking about. Nor can I afford a pet sitter. It may sound as if I am an irresponsible pet owner, but of course, 5 years ago when I got the boys, I had no idea that I’d end up traveling this much.

I don’t know what to do. I have, as I see it, two options. I can make this an actual TDY assignment and move down here temporarily. Our project assistant is looking into that so that I can present pricing to the PM if need be. The other option is to take them up to Bobby and Stephanie’s for the remainder of the crazy travel. They’ve offered. They have 4 cats and 2 dogs, which is much more than the boys are used to. I won’t get to see them when I come home- they’ll be 4 hours away.

I’m very frustrated right now.

Update: Looks like moving down here won't work out- it's not enough cheaper that I'd be able to get a car, and, well, if I'm down here full time, I'd want a car.

Friday night I landed at RDU. Two of my friends picked me up, and we went out to dinner. They took me to an Italian restaurant near their house, and I've finally found good pizza in Raleigh. So good, in fact, that I briefly thought of moving back to that area, even though I hated it when I lived there.

As we were ordering, my friend started telling me about a dream he'd had. I looked at his wife and said, "Did he just say 'wombat'?" She confirmed that he had.

Once they dropped me off, it was difficult for me to refrain myself from running around the house yelling, "My couch! My bed! My kitchen!"

Cdub dropped the boys off yesterday. They spent a good portion of the day mad at me. I felt guilty that I hadn't been home, so I let them sleep with me. Around 3:30 AM, I woke up because I was being stared at. (Mom: Ha! Payback!) Jasper was standing over me. I realized I had a splitting headache, so I got up and took some Tylenol. When I got back into the room, Jasper was sound asleep. I had to go sleep on the couch because he was snoring.

In the old place, Jasper would occasionally lose Orion and me when we went upstairs. (I think his hearing is going.) He'd pace about the living room, plaintively crying for us. I'd yell down to him, and he'd come running up the stairs, happy to have found us. I thought moving to a one-story house would solve this.

Well, I thought that until Monday night/Tuesday morning, when I was awakened at 3AM by his, "Where is everyone?" cry. (Orion was on the bed with me.) I yelled, "We're in here," and he came running into the bedroom (clicking, because he needs his nails trimmed), and said "Mwror?" I said, "Yes," and he ran out of the room.

On a somewhat related note, the following conversation can be heard several times a day:

Orion: Out?
WG: No.
Orion: Out!
WG: No!
Orion: OUT!
WG: Shut up!

When your brother-in-law and your cat have names that are similar, you may find yourself on the phone with your sister wondering why the cat called her.

I took Jasper to the new vet yesterday. Our old vet was in North Raleigh; it was a 30 minute drive to get there. Since there is this big vet school here, there is not shortage of vets. So, I asked around, and was recommended on much closer to my house (and even closer to my new house). Because of his mouth disease, Jasper gets steroid shots every 2-3 months. I wanted to have the new vet check him before he needed one to see if they would agree on the course of treatment. (Jasper will not take anything orally. Because his mouth hurts, he doesn't let anyone touch it, so you can't give him pills. He is smart enough to know that if I feed him separately from Orion, there's something in the food. He won't eat canned food until after Orion. This includes when Orion has been medicated- I would feed Orion in the bathroom, and Jasper in the kitchen. Jaz wouldn't touch the food until Ri came out and tried it.)

He had a full physical, and decided that when they were checking his eyes that they were going to try and look in his mouth. He opened his mouth as to warn them he would bite. This is not too scary, as it has now been confirmed that he has no teeth. Consequently, when he opens his mouth, he looks like a snake. (He did try to bite the vet twice. The gumming didn't seem to bother her.) When he closes his mouth, he doesn't always put his tongue back in. (No teeth, so he doesn't bite down on it, and thus apparently doesn't notice.) This gives him a very intelligent look. (This, coupled with his habit of chasing his tail down the stairs, has made many people doubt me when I tell them how smart he is.)

Anyway, I liked the new vet. The exam rooms have windows in the doors, and the entire building is louder than the old vet's, which made Jasper nervous. However, the care will be excellent, and he'll get used to this place. (He was used to the old vet. Much like me, Jasper abhors change.) The vet has agreed that she will follow the course of treatment we've been doing, but is going to do some research, because she was surprised at how red and inflamed his mouth was during a good period.

Next week they get to meet Orion, whose nerves at the vet's tend to conflict with his desire to meet new people.

So, I called what I think will be the boys' new vet. The (male) receptionist was taking down my information, and kept saying things like, "How many babies do you have?" "What's the other baby's name?" etc. Now, they are not, in fact, babies. In any sense of the word, as Jasper is 10 and Orion is 6.5. I do not refer to them as babies. I do occasionally hold Orion like a baby, but that's just to annoy him.

Little Matty and I went to lunch today. As we opened the back door, I yelled "Get in the house!"

Which is what I yell when I open my front door. To keep Ri from sneaking out.

Tuesday night, I hit PetSmart to get food for the boys. I also got Jasper 2 Mylar balls. He loves them! I must get a picture of him playing with them. Orion has no use for such toys. (As you may recall, his favorite toy is a pencil in a box.) Jasper had lost one of the balls last night, and I thought it was under the couch. However, the only thing I found under the couch was a mousie, which when I pulled it out and gave it to Jasper, he was all, "I've been looking for that!" (The ball was later found under the end table.)

I sleep on my side, and tend to do so on the edges of the bed, facing out. Ri likes to curl up near my stomach, so he will pat me on the shoulder to get me to move over so there's room for him.

Ri: Excuse me, I want to sleep there.
Me: You have 3/4 of the bed.
Ri: Excuse me, I want to sleep there.

He's very persistent (See: still asks to go outside, even though in 5 years I have never let him outside. (He has snuck out.)), but I got him to give up last night. At least until I fell asleep, at which point he can get me to move over.

I was on the phone the other night when Jasper let out a big yawn. I was able to look in his mouth to see how many teeth he had. Answer? 0.

I have taken to telling the boys that their behavior is "unacceptable". I had no idea where I had gotten this, until I was watching Oprah the other day. It's from Supernanny. If I ever talk of putting them on the "naughty spot", y'all must stage an intervention.

However, we are currently trying to re-train Jasper. He's gotten into the habit of bothering me when I'm on the phone (yes, like a 4-year-old child). So, I am currently ignoring him while on the phone and giving him attention once the call is done. Anyone think it will work?

Last night I put up the Christmas decorations. (Well, technically, just the ones in the living room. Just didn't feel like getting all of them out this year.) I had to chase Orion around the living room and fish garland out of his mouth three times. This morning I caught him eating the plastic green roping on the banister.

Have I told y'all that Orion is stupid? Really, really stupid? I can't light candles in the house because he's set himself on fire 3 times. First time I thought, "Oh, he'll learn." Second time I thought, "Now he's definitely learned." Third time I thought, "Oh, he's not going to learn." Cdub and I once watched him try to eat the same piece of fuzz off the carpet 5 times. He' spy it, decide it might be food, put it in his mouth, and then shake his head to get it off of his tongue. Two minutes later, he would forget that it wasn't food, and repeat the process.

Last year I tried having real greenery in the house. I had white pine roping wrapped around the banister. He ate it and then puked it up for the entire 4 weeks it was there. Every day I had to clean up regurgitated pine needles. And the regurgitation of the pine needes? Was clearly not comfortable. So now the only real greenery in the house is the wreath on the door. Hence the eating of plastic and foil.

It's a good thing he's really, really, ridiculously good-looking.

I forgot to tell y'all this story.  Thursday, I took of from work early to do a bit of relaxing before the exam.  At one point, Orion escaped.  I managed to catch him, but not before his paws got all muddy.  (Dear apartment complex:  we are supposed to be conserving water.  Installing leaky sprinkler systems that water a good portion of the road does not accomplish this.  Love, Watergirl)  I brought him inside and washed his paws off before I put him down. 

Later that night, he escaped again.  When I tried to catch him, he ran off into the woods.   I lost him.  I called Cdub in a panic, and she offered to come over to help look.  I took her up on this, because, hello, big test tomorrow.  Then I called Mom and Dad.

Dad:  Why would he do this to you?
Mom:  You have to put it out of your mind during the test. 

Anyway, Cdub came over, we looked, did not find him.  I walked down to the neighbors' and asked them to keep an eye out for him (they have a Shih Tzu; Orion loves him).  She agreed to keep an eye out and assured me he'd come home.  About an hour later, she knocked on my door; she'd taken the dog out and Orion came running up to them.   Yes, that's correct, my cat runs to dogs.  So weird.

  Load of Whites 
  Originally uploaded by H2O girl.

It seems I'm doing whites.

I am a crazy cat lady.  Earlier this evening, I was sitting at my desk.  Ri was sitting on my desk.  He quite deliberately knocked some papers off into the garbage.  I said, "Orion!  Why did you do that?  And don't even tell me you didn't mean to, 'cause that's a lie!"

Dear Boys,

I am sorry I made fun of you the other day.  (I didn't know you guys were reading.  Thanks!)  Thank you for the mouse I found by the bed this morning.  But mostly thank you for not putting the mouse on the bed.

Love,

Watergirl

but you still are not supposed to lock Orion in my bedroom while I am at work. 

So, Ri has been spending a lot of time lately staring under the oven.  From on top of the counter and from on the floor.  Sunday, I walked into the kitchen as he was in pouncing mode, just in time to see him attack the oven.  Hit his head on it.

Now, I had figured there was something under there, and after that little display I had to find out what it was.  (Note:  I assumed some sort of bug.  Or possibly a small snake.)  When I pulled the range out to clean behind it, do you know what I found?  Mouse droppings!

I called the landlord today, to tell them this.  I was asked, "So, I guess a mouse from outside is getting in the house?"  Gee, ya think?

Ri fell out of the shower yesterday.  A little background:  Ri likes to shower.  He loves water.  When I shower, he stands on the edge of the tub, waiting for drips to come his way.  Yesterday, he was standing on his hind legs, catching drips, when he lost his balance.  His face said, "Oh shit, I'm going to fall."  He waved his front legs, much as a biped would wave his arms, to try and catch himself.  Did not work.  He fell backwards off the tub.*  Yes, I laughed. 

*He's fine. 

That's what I've been lately, which is why I haven't written much.  See, MW is out of town for a few (where few =6) weeks, and I have this massive list of things to get done.  Also, I had two riding lessons last week.  And the weather's been beautiful, so when I'm not riding, 2.0 and I have gone walking. 

So, first the riding.  Tuesday's lesson was a joint one, with my friend MediaGirl.  (We're on the Water for Life committee together, and I got her into riding.)  Anyway, I was on Bruno, and the lesson went like this:  Frustrated (me), because he's not listening, Calm (both of us), because we got him to listen, Pissed off (him, because he decided the lesson was over when it wasn't).  Thursday I was exhausted and got off the beltline like I was going home.  After getting back on, I almost missed the exit for the barn.  As such, Solie and I took it easy.  We did hillwork in the fields (working towards the canter).  It was a much better lesson than Tuesday.  I can't wait for the canter!

Yesterday, I left work early- massive headache.  Couldn't think.  Was supposed to do SPCs, but would never have been able to keep the dilutions straight.  (Evidence that I couldn't think:  I forgot to lock my file cabinet and I left my watch and ring on my desk.)  After coming home and taking Tylenol, Sudafed, and a nap, I felt much better.  That evening, 2.0 and I went walking where we usually do, but we took a different trail  (Raleigh has a fairly extensive greenway system.)  This trail was less crowded and quieter.  And 2.0 pointed out to me where she'd seen a copperhead (This is not a plus.)  It was a good walk and the weather was beautiful.  (Confidential to MW:  Remind me to take you there when you get back.  But watch for copperheads.)

Today, I am going to MediaGirl's engagement party.  I ordered her wedding gift over the phone.  It's from her registry, but I'm not sure it's what she'll get.  The guy who took the order?  Very confused.  Good thing I've done cashiering.  First, he didn't get the expiration date for my credit card (I had to remind him.  He said, "That's important, isn't it?"  Yes.  They will not process the charge without it.)  Then he promised me someone would call me back with the order details.

WG:  But you never asked for my phone number.
Store guy:  Hmm, I guess I'll need that.

And finally, Jasper, watching kitty TV!

Because the carpet cleaners didn't come.  And I had locked the boys in the bathrooms with no food and water, which I realized on the way home.  Amount this traumatized me:  1 billion.  Amount this traumatized them: 2.  Anyway, carpet cleaning tomorrow.  Hopefully. 

So, the boys have been very clingy (or clingy alternating with running and hiding, if you're Jasper) since I got back.  I was in Virginia with the family for four days, came home for a night, and spent the weekend at MW's.  They were having serious mama withdrawal.  The main symptom of which is apparently drooling.  Which is gross. 

I'm taking Jasper to the vet today.  At least his drooling is caused by a medical condition, Orion.  And then?  When I get home?  I have to move furniture around and vacuum.  Why?  The carpet cleaners are coming tomorrow.  So the boys are being locked in separate bathrooms.  Ri upstairs, because he loves the shower so, and Jasper downstairs.  I would feel bad, but it's mostly their fault I need the carpets cleaned. 

This morning as I was working up the energy to get out of bed, the boys were chasing each other around the house and wrestling.  At one point, Orion had turned over on his back (actually, this is his favorite fighting tactic, which should indicate why Jasper usually wins), and Jasper (of the five teeth) tried to bite his back paw.  I do not know what that would have accomplished. 

Today I have to ship coolers to Belgium.  Poor Belgians, running around with nary a cooler.

Have I told you how much I love Nordstrom?  Very much.  I went in last week to buy some new bras (I'd had a fitting there, and the result of this fitting was my favorite everyday bra ever).  I found one I wanted (not for everyday), but they didn't have the everyday ones in my size (I would tell you what size, Internet, but then you would be jealous), so they ordered them from another store.  Who shipped them to me.  (Which store?  The one in Freehold, NJ.  I could have just sent Mom.)  They are good with the customer service.

We had another break-in at our office last night.  I did not lose my laptop this time, but it makes me think twice about coming in at night or on the weekends.

And now?  A poll.  Internet, the CD player in my car does not work if it is cold or wet (this is in the mornings when I start the car, so it affects my commute to work).  Should I just deal, or should I buy a new car stereo?  And if I buy a new car stereo, should I try to put it in myself, or pay for the install?  Answer in the comments section.

ETA:  Bastards stole my 3-place balance.  Probably for their meth lab.

Orion had his dental cleaning yesterday, and they had to pull 2 teeth.  He's still got a long way to go to  catch up to Jasper:  28 vs. 5.  I have to give him antibiotics for 10 days and pain meds for 4.  Jealous?

Yesterday, Cool Boss and I were cleaning up the warehouse, and the dust gave me an asthma attack.  Now, my asthma is pretty much under control, as indicated by the fact that my inhaler was 2 years out of date.  Cool Boss had to go home and get one from the Cool Wife.  I am fine, in case you are worried.

Cdub has been sick for 2 days now.  Which should keep her out of the grips of the Skeleton-masked thief, who is striking near her house.  Be careful, Cdub!  I think laughing at him, while appropriate, would also be ill-advised.   

So, I don't think I've told y'all this yet.  Jasper is obsessed with the closet in my bedroom.  He wants the doors open at all times.  He has learned to open them himself (they are the kind that you can just pull open; the doorknobs are strictly for decoration) by sticking his paw underneath and pulling.  He will work at this doggedly (for lack of a better word) until the door is open.  Then he will go downstairs.  Because he doesn't want in the closet, just wants the door open.  I have other closets with doors like that, but he doesn't open them.  Just my closet. 

Also, the other morning he woke me up at 0215, all, "Hey lady, do you want to pet me now?"  No, I do not!

Y'all, I have been looking for my Swiffer duster for a month now.  I just found it.  Those of you who know me IRL can imagine the amount of joy this brought me.  Those of you who don't, the discovery was announced with a little dance, and then I showed it to Jasper and said, "I FOUND IT!
Jasper looked up at me, but was unmoved.  Silly cat!

I decided to put the tree up last night.  Ri helped, but Jasper was upstairs sleeping.  When he came downstairs, he jumped sideways and looked at the tree like, "Holy crap!  There's a tree in the living room!"

So, as you know, I went to Culpeper for Thanksgiving.  I stayed at Peg's, and we had dinner at Bob and Stephanie's (that would be my uncle and his wife).  Or, as my Grandfather told my mom,  "I am going to Bobby and Stephanie's for Thanksgiving, and [Watergirl] will be there too!"  Her mom cooked the turkey, and we all brought side dishes.  As usual, there was too much food, but all was yummy.  (See the Thanksgiving photo album for pics.)

Friday morning I went to Wal-Mart to get tires.     Yes, I was in the Culpeper Wal-Mart on Black Friday.  Not as bad as you might think.  That night, we watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. 

Saturday I came home late.  Sunday I got up, read the paper, and went to work.  Then I stopped at church to pick up my greenery on the way home.  The house is now mostly decorated (I will put up the tree eventually), and Ri may have learned his lesson about not eating pine needles.  Of course, he's burnt himself with a candle three times, so maybe not.  Hard to say.

So, for those of you who haven't met the boys, let me introduce them.

This is Orion:

Orion will tell you he is the Alpha cat.  Orion is wrong, but we let him have his delusions.  Orion likes to give bonks, but sometimes they turn into headbutts.  Orion is not afraid of anything and really really wants to go outside.  Except for when he sneaks out and gets scared.  If you come over, he will love you, especially if you are also a guy.   Orion's nicknames are Ri, RiRi, and Mr. Ri. 

This is Jasper:

Jasper is the Alpha cat.  He lets Orion think otherwise most of the time, but he does lay down the well-deserved smackdown on occasion.  Jasper is pretty and sweet, and has the breath of a vulture.  See, he has this disease that is making him lose his teeth (current count: 5), and we are just working on keeping him as pain-free as possible.  He does let me know when his mouth hurts.  Jasper is afraid of fireworks and thunder and hides at the top of the stairs when he hears them.  Jasper is a former street cat who has no interest in returning outside.  Jasper's nicknames are Jaz, Jazzy Jaz Jaz Man, Mr. Man, and Dr. J (only Cdub uses the last).

So, the boys usually get along.  Also, they are entertaining.  They have been known to convince Cdub to feed them when I am being neglectful (OK, that was all Ri).  I have come home to the TV on.  I have come home to the stereo on (Avril Lavigne, proving that their taste in music is not so good).  I have watched Jasper fall down the stairs whilst chasing his tail.  I have seen Ri run into a wall.  Right now, they are lying near me wondering when I'll stop typing and pet them.  I think now would be a good time.

The boys are crazier than usual and other newsOrion has taken to sleeping on the back of the couch, which is why if you come to my house you will notice that the center back cushion is dented. Saturday night he was sleeping up there and fell off. He woke up hissing, presumably at whomever had knocked him off. Neither Jaz nor I had touched him.

Yesterday when I got home from work, the TV was on. Sometimes you just need to watch Lifetime, I guess. Later, Jaz decided he needed some alone time, so he went up to my bedroom and closed the door. I also discovered that Orion has made himself a toy. It's a box with a rubberband in it. See, you put the box near the dining room table, then climb up on the table, jump into the box, and attack the rubberband. Hours of fun, apparently.

In other news, I am now on arthritis medicine for my ankle, and I am supposed to "cut back on my activities."