Aquamama (to me): You should really never go into public relations.

Over the past few days I've noticed that I have had to work very hard to contain rage. I am not sure how much sense this will make, but I can feel the anger. I'm not angry about anything, just angry. I don't even know what brought it on. Things have been stressful lately, but I've tried to remove myself as much as possible. I have a doctors appointment next Friday, but if it doesn't get better by Monday, I'll be calling him sooner.

This weekend I headed down to Atlanta to see a friend. I’d been teasing him that as far as I knew, Atlanta had an airport, MARTA trains, and an office of my company. He insisted that there was more to the city.
Unfortunately, he ended up having to work on Saturday down at Callaway Gardens. We headed down there at 0’dark thirty. I dropped him off and headed out to see what there was to do- he had several long breaks. After the recon, I headed back to the Gardens to check them out.

The first thing I went to see was the raptor show. (Oh, did I mention it was 8 million degrees out with 90,000% humidity? I didn’t? Well, it was. There was no shade where the show was.) The first bird was a Great Horned Owl named Juniper. If any of y’all know Orion, well, she was the bird equivalent. Opinion on everything. Very talkative. The next bird was a Red-tailed hawk. I forget his name. At the end of his segment, the trainer told him, “Home”. He flew off in another direction, which prompted her to say to him, “That’s not home. I don’t know what that is.” He wouldn’t come back, so she sent the other trainer after him. They couldn’t catch him, so the show was cancelled. I found this all very amusing. Of course, I was working on about 3 hours sleep, so that may have been part of it. But the hawk was all, “Road trip!”

That afternoon I visited the butterfly pavilion. A butterfly landed on this six year old girl near me, and she said, “It’s not even one of the pretty ones.” Never satisfied, that kid.

That afternoon we went to see The Bourne Ultimatum. Perhaps it would have made more sense had I seen the first two. That would not have excused the shaky camera work, however.

Sunday we checked out Five Points and went to Stone Mountain. We did not hike up (still with the stifling heat), but I did see the carving of the Confederate Generals. Well, kinda. There were trees in front.

The story ends with Myspace confusion, as they so often do.

Well, kind of. My first review is up over at A Girl Must Shop. It will surprise exactly none of you that it is a review of laundry detergent.

Yesterday Mom called me. She started out the call with, “I need your advice on something.”

A good friend of Bud’s passed away this week. They’ve known each other since high school; she’s been battling cancer almost that long. Bud is in Korea for the next 2 weeks serving his Guard duty. We weren’t sure how to get in touch with him.

Mom wanted to call his girlfriend to get her take on things, but neither of us had the number. I left her a message on her myspace to have her call me. Mom talked to her first and then she called me. We knew that if anyone did hear from him, he had to be given the news. It would upset him more to know we didn’t tell him. It looked as if the job of telling him was most likely to fall to his girlfriend as we figured he’d call her first. It was not a job she was looking forward to.

He posted on his myspace today that he’d heard; I’m not sure how. He’s in a tough place- he can’t come back for the funeral, and he’s in a foreign country with little support. (The Army doesn’t give hugs.) I wish we hadn’t had to tell him this news. I wish there hadn’t been news to tell.

Two weeks ago I had talked about how I felt some mounting rage. It subsided, but I still brought it up at my next appointment. We talked about what had caused it and how I had handled it. After our discussion, my doctor said, “I’m proud of you for how you dealt with that.”

Of course, I now want a T-shirt that says, “My psychiatrist is proud of me.” It would get people wondering, don’t you think?

So, I've become obsessed with Real Estate again. (No, I don't know why. Can't actually buy now.) The house I live in, although I love it, is probably more than I want to spend and also needs a lot of work. Also, it's on the opposite side of the county from both work and the barn. If I buy in the town the barn is in, I can get something like this. Note the price. Much more affordable.

(There are about 7 houses for sale in that neighborhood, which makes me wonder, but still, it's very close to the barn.)

ETA: I changed up my mind. Want this one.

Drunk girl on cellphone, Glenwood South area, 8/24/07: OK Daddy, I love you. I have to go now because we're going into the bar. I'll call you later.

Yesterday I was putting the roof rack on my car so that I could go kayaking. It involved several trips in and out of the house. Of course, Orion managed to get out. I was busy and didn't feel like chasing him, so I let him go and kept an eye on him.

I got involved with the roof rack and lost him. I finally found him hiding under a bush, puffed up, hackles raised, caterwauling. See, he always wants to go outside, but if he's out too long he gets scared. I reached in to get him out, and he attacked me. My had was bitten up.

I managed finally to lure him out with some tuna.

One of the puncture wounds bled for 4 hours. I washed them out and treated them with antibiotic cream, but it was not enough it seems. I woke up this morning and my hand was swollen, red, and warm. I went to urgent care and am now on very strong antibiotics. And I have to go back tomorrow.

Turns out that cat bites are nasty.

(Apologies to Stew for stealing this page from her book.)

So, thanks to a recent ego boost, I decided to try the online dating thing again. I signed up for the smiley faced one, because, well, I haven't tried it yet. It's going OK. Nothing has really come of it yet, but I'm talking with one guy that I'm interested in. Then there's this other guy. He seems nice enough, and is into horses, so I figured, "What the heck?' He would like to become a dairy farmer, and he was telling me that he thinks that's what's scaring women away. I was all, "Cows are cool! Goats are cooler! I could have a horse!" Nothing to be taken seriously, because, well, we've only talked over e-mail, so it's not like I'm planning for the future or anything here.

His response?

"Being a part of a dairy business is not to be taken lightly. Life on a dairy farm will change and affect you whether you are an active participant in the business or not.... Milking cows is not a job or a career but rather frequently refered (sic) to as a lifestyle or way of life... 24 Hours/Day, 365 Days/Year. My looking and smelling like what comes out of a cows backside mixed in with the smell of sour milk is the least what is to be expected. Oh, another good thing to mention to consider... Cows get milked twice daily... Approximately every 12 hours."

Uh, OK. Later in the letter he says, "Dairy farming is unique, for all the hard work I think I like what it has to offer for myself and a family."

Here's the thing. I don't know that I want to have kids. Meaning, I'm leaning towards no. I am not saying definitely no because things change, but as of this point, I don't want kids. (I'm not sure I've explicitly stated that here before.) I like kids, don't get me wrong, but I really like when they go home with their parents.

(I have already formulated extensive plans for corrupting my nephew.)

It seems clear to me that I need to tell this guy, "Hey, yea, this isn't going to happen." Do I have an obligation to tell him that the whole dairy farming as a way of life thing is a bit much after say, a week and a half of e-mailing? That things might go better for him if he maybe let that go, just a bit? That no one has to make any life decisions based upon a few e-mails? In other words, chill out?

Did I tell you that the night before last Orion woke me up by stepping on my hand? The one that was sore and infected because he bit it? I didn't? Well, he did. And then was upset that I woke up yelling.

I went back to the Dr. yesterday, and she wasn't happy with how it looked- it was still quite red and warm. This morning it is not red and not warm.

Although, I must confess I liked the warm. It's nice to have a built in heater, for when your office is cold. Makes it easy to warm up your nose.

A few months ago, my company put out an internal request for people to work on a big project in Chicago. I applied, but never heard anything, so I put it out of my mind.

They called me today. I have a phone interview on Friday.