Occasionally, I have panic attacks while riding. It goes back to the accident. It will always be in the back of my mind, but sometimes it visits the front. Heather is patient and works with me to fight through it.

Last night, I was riding Sandi bareback. Backing her up, which is not something that is difficult or should cause any instability, had me nearly in tears. We spent most of the lesson working on it. I got calmer, able to stop her when I felt she was backing uncontrollably. We pushed it until I knew I couldn’t push it anymore. I ride again tonight. This time I’ll have a saddle and we’ll work on the backing some more.