First of all, thank y'all for being so supportive. The reason I finally decided to write that post was because there were things that I was having to censor here because I hadn't.

I am not embarrassed about my diagnosis. I have bipolar disorder. I also have asthma. What I am frustrated by is the need to censor what I say. If I accidentally let it slip to someone that I am asthmatic, it's not a big deal. No one ever thinks, "Well, if she just wanted to breathe," or "Well, she just doesn't know how to handle her breathing." However, if I let the fact that I have bipolar disorder slip, it may very well change someone's perception of me. I have made the choice that anyone I consider a close friend will know, because I'm not hiding from my friends. That doesn't mean I am sending out a memo, or greeting new people with, "Hello. Let me tell you about my bipolar disorder." It means I'm not going to be careful what I say around my friends.

Work is really what concerns me, because work and my dad are my two biggest triggers. I've got a pretty good handle on the dad thing- I live in NC, he lives in NJ. However, I need to work. I hope that changing jobs helps, but I also worry about what will happen if I get too stressed out. I had someone in my corner at my old job, someone who would stick up for me but also let me know when I was getting out of hand. In therapy, we are working on gaining control over my emotions, especially anger, but I'm afraid that at some point it won't work. And then what? So it's really a question of do I do damage control, damage clean-up, or just hope for no damage? Right now, I am hoping for no damage.