So, this Saturday, when I went canoeing?  Yea, that was a date.  Another in the long chronicle of "WTF?"

So, he picked me up at my house.  Well, first he had to call me because he could only find the even-numbered buildings, not the odd-numbered ones.  (Note:  My street?  Makes a circle on the end.  "Keep going" was apparently not an option he had considered.)  (He later told me that he didn't turn right like I had said to in the directions because that way looked like it took you toward the pool.  It does, but also towards my building.) 

OK, so he finally finds the house.  When I let him in, Orion, Mr.  Oh-the-door-is-probably-for-me doesn't even get off the couch.  (The guy later tells me he noticed all the cat hair in my house.  a.) I had just cleaned and b.)  I have cats.  Picking on my housekeeping (which borders on the meticulous, actually) is so not the way to impress me.) 

So, the drive up was fine, we chatted, got along.  When we get to the park, dude parks really far away from the boat launch.  (Note:  It is now 1PM.  He hasn't eaten all day; I ate breakfast at 0730.  I had then gone to the grocery store to get stuff to make us sandwiches. )  We launch the boat, start paddling, and he announces, "If we tip, I'm going to freak out."  (The water was dark because the bottom was murky.  The water itself was not actually colored that deeply.)  Me (to self)  "OK.  If we tip, swim far away." 

I told him that I was really getting hungry (Time:  2PM), and suggested we eat.  He did not want to eat in the boat, so we beached on some boggy land and sat on a rotting log to eat.  Much better than in the canoe! 

We paddled around for another 2 hours.  The park was beautiful, and I really enjoyed exploring it.  When we got back, I could not carry the very heavy canoe very far (arm sore!), so he dragged it back.  I dried all of our gear, and then he loaded the boat on top of his Jeep. 

I changed (I do not like sitting around in dirty, wet clothes, so I had brought spares.)  On our way back to the highway, I suggested we stop for dinner.  Him, "I never even thought of that."  When we got into a semi-large town, he decided Hardee's was the place to go (Note:  I did tell him I didn't care.  And at that point, I didn't).  I have never eaten anything but breakfast at Hardee's.  When we went in, he told me what he always ordered, and I said, "I don't eat hamburgers."

He looked at me like I was a moron, and said, "I thought you knew this was a hamburger place."  Me:  "They have chicken."  We got on line, and he said, "You can go ahead," and then stood very far behind me, to make it clear that I was paying my own way.

On the way home, he started telling me about how he sneaks into movies.  At this point, y'all are wondering why I went on a date with a 20-year-old, aren't you?  Ha!  He's 35.  Or possibly 39.  (He never did get his age straight.  Kept telling me different things. )  Anyway, I must have looked at him strangely, because he said, "Have you ever snuck into a movie?" 

WG:  No, that's stealing.
Him:  No it isn't.
WG:  Yes, it is.
Him:  Well, haven't you ever snuck food into the movies?
WG:  Yes.
Him:  It's the same thing.
(Actually, it's not.  If I had ever gone behind the counter and taken the Reese's Pieces, then it's the same thing.  If I didn't bring food, I still wouldn't buy any. )
WG:  No, it isn't. 
Him:  What's stealing is what they charge for tickets. 

I'm fairly certain that going to the movies is an optional activity, and if you don't want to pay the ticket prices, you can wait until the movie comes out on DVD. 

Anyway, I should have known he was cheap at the end of our first date.

Waitress:  Will that be together or separate?
Him:  I don't know.  How much does it cost? 
WG:  Separate, then.