Note:  This post is mainly therapeutic for me.  I debated even telling the internet, but I need to share.  I am not trying to belittle anyone. 

I'm back from Maine.  I'll write and post pictures of my vacation later.  For reasons I am about to explain, I can't right now.

I checked my e-mail upon my return yesterday, and waiting for me in my inbox was a curt letter from MW breaking up with me.  (Background:  before leaving, I was upset with him, and I wrote him a somewhat nasty e-mail, so I did precipitate this.)  I was gobsmacked.  I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, and then like someone had sprayed my heart with liquid nitrogen and thrown it to the floor.  I never expected that.  The last time I saw him, he made the comment that "we" loved the boys. 

I cried last night, and took Tylenol PM to get some sleep (I got this news after 12.5 hours of traveling, so I was exhausted.)  Which means that when Bud called (I love Bud!  Quote:  "If you need me to come down, I will rearrange everything to make that happen."), he got a very groggy sister. 

This morning, I am still devastated.  It's entirely possible that this is for the best.  I don't know.   MW is not at a point where he is willing to include me in his life- I am a separate part, not part of the whole.  This doesn't make the hurt less. 

I was happy with him; he made me laugh, he accepted me for me.  He was there for me when I lost my grandfather.   I do not wish for a moment that we had never met.   I'm glad for the time we had; I wish it could have been longer.

I will be OK.   In time, things will get better.   And I will tell you funny stories of my vacation (I took notes!).  But right now, I need to lay low.

P.S.  Next week, send wine.  This week, tell me I'm pretty.