2: The number of messages that Cdub left me about her broken water heater.

Not one fuckin' thing: Number of things I know about water heaters.

3: The number of days in a row that I have not had to park in the vistors lot at my complex.

5: The current number of teeth in Jasper's mouth. That number does not include the tooth that is on my counter because I think I ought to show it to the vet. Although I don't know why I think that. Maybe he will give me money.